On food and self control: real hunger vs everything else

A clearer way to read your body’s signals

It’s 7pm and I’m done being a responsible adult for the day. I’m tired and hungry. I go to the kitchen and make myself a peanut butter and banana toast. Then a second one.

5 minutes later, I grab the jar, add honey and oats to it, and sit with a spoon in front of my laptop. Half an hour later the jar’s empty, I feel ashamed, and I already know my sleep will suck.

What happened?

I acted on 3 different signals:

1. I felt hungry, but I didn’t pause to check if it was real hunger.

2. I craved something salty, fatty, and sweet. And I made myself a toast.

3. I acted on impulse and devoured the jar without thinking.

A replica of the peanut butter toast version of 7pm

You’ve likely had your own version of this: looking into the fridge at night, not sure if you’re actually hungry or just done with the day.

We often confuse these signals so this week we’re focusing on true physical hunger. Learn how to spot it and stop eating on autopilot.

Before we go on, I want to acknowledge that food is a sensitive topic. I struggled with binge eating for years. I was overweight as a teenager, and it took a long time to untangle my relationship with food. What I’m sharing here is about understanding. Use what’s useful, leave what’s not.

So what is hunger?
Hunger is your body’s demand for fuel.

1. It builds gradually. If you weren’t hungry an hour ago and now you think you are “starving,” then you might not really be hungry.

2. You feel it in the body: your stomach growls, you get light headed and might have low energy. If you’ve ever skipped meals, you know the feeling.

3. You aren’t picky and would almost eat anything.

How to tell if it’s real hunger?

Picture a large boiled potato. Nothing added but a little salt.

Now ask yourself: Would I happily eat this right now?

If yes, your body probably needs fuel.

If not, it’s likely something else, like craving, habit, or emotional impulse. You can still choose to eat. But at least you know it wasn’t real hunger.

Actions for this week:

Before any meal or snack this week, do two things:

1. Pause for a minute without distractions.

   1. Take a few deep breaths.

   2. Notice the urge to eat without acting on it.

2. Ask yourself 3 questions:

   1. What does my body feel right now? (empty stomach, low energy, light-headed, etc)

   2. How long has this hunger been building? (gradual or sudden?)

   3. Would I eat plain boiled potatoes right now?

If the answers suggest real hunger, eat.

If not, wait 10 minutes and check again.